onsdag 22 januari 2014

Dracula 3D (2012)

When I first heard that Dario Argento was making his own version of Dracula and casting Rutger Hauer as Van Helsing I was really intrigued. A part of me wanted to think that he could make something special out of this clasic tale of gothic love. Well, that was somewhat of a disappointment.

Not the trainwreck I was expecting it to be but still far from a good movie. It's just so very puzzling how bland and unpersonal this movie is, there is not a hint of the flair that we are used to see in Argentos work. The acting is mostly just awful though it is actually quite refreshing to finally have a Jonathan Harker that is worse than Keanu Reeves. Rutger Hauer is probably the best thing here even though he is in his best Anthony Hopkins mode, phoning it in with poorly disguised boredom. And then there is Asia Argento.. Not only is her performance pretty damn dull, her nudescenes are quite creepy as well. Damnit Dario, what the hell were you thinking?

I could go on and on about the crappy music, the bad cgi straight out of a nineties pc adventure game and a lot of other strange choices but I won't. Fortunately for the viewer there is a lot of graphic violence and gratitous nudity to keep you entertained, it's just that I never for once felt that I was watching an Dario Argento movie. And that is Dracula 3Ds biggest fault. It feels more like a Bruno Mattei movie but without that comfy trashy feeling you get from watching his movies.

And the mantis? What the FUCK was that?!?! I'm not even sure if I mean that in a negative way. It's just so... eh... fucked up.

2 kommentarer:

  1. Color me envious no matter how bad Argento's work has become lately.
    I read about all these movies in your posts and I can't help but suffer inside because they will never be available here unless I start importing again. I'm a slave of the mainstream and it sucks.
    Last weekend I was able to catch Sharknado on Netflix, but that's about it for weirdness in my cinephile routine. I don't have any hopes of this service adding more crazy stuff, but c'monnnn. My world needs more low budget nude-ridden Draculas!!!

  2. We're pretty much in the same boat, though things have gotten better in Sweden. Our Netflix sucks though if you are into cult movies, we don't even have Sharknado! I import a LOT of movies though many of the ones I review here are only available on rips from old vhstapes since they haven't been released anywhere on any other format.