Phantoms (1998)

 

I think I've read Dean R Koontz Phantoms at least ten times, no joke. It is one of those books that has a plot that perfectly fits what I want when it comes to horror, an enigmatic and mysterious "villain" and a wonderful mystery in how the hell everyone in a small Town died or vanished within a few hours. It is one of those books that I pick up whenever I don't know what to read and it is like visiting an old and cherished friend. It it my own personal safe bet when it comes to reading.

Phantoms the Movie is a decent adaption of the novel and works fine as a horror movie, I really think so. There are a number of good setpieces, especially the church scene and the big reveal towards the end. But, and this is a big one, the movie has two giant flaws that stops the movie from greatness.

1. The script. There is a shitload of really preposterous dialogue that feels more at home in a Syfy original and that whole thing about Afflecks character and the kid he shot is just stupid. I am gonna whine a little about the changes from the book like whole subplots missing but it's not really that big of a deal.

2. The actors. Well mostly Affleck and Rose McGowan. Affleck does a decent job but he was 26 at the time, looks like he's 18 and plays a sheriff that used to be an FBI agent. Just stupid. Rose McGowan at the tender age of 25 plays what is supposed to be a teen and this feels just wrong. Not to mention the fact that she cannot act at all. Peter O'Toole brings a certain class to the whole thing but he has some of the most atrocious parts of the dialogue, poor man.

But besides these two nagging points, Phantoms is actually a quite fun blob-movie with some gooey sfx. And we all know we cannot hate blob-movies. There is actually a law prohibiting such behaviour. There is, I swear.