Don't go in the woods (1981)

 

I used to hate slashers. For me they represented a cheap form of entertainment, a streamlined sex and violence machine that became tamer and tamer as the genre progressed. It was mostly the Friday the 13th series that was the true culprit, each part feeling more and more like slick looking tv-movies but there were others like My bloody valentine that suffered multiple cuts due to censorship, turning an excellent movie into a bland soup.

But then something happened. I started to dig up old stuff that I missed back in the 80s and 90s, fun movies that never were released on dvd or blu ray. Low budget movies made with a heart, like The Final terror and Just before dawn. Then My bloody valentine was released with all the censored violence reinstated and suddenly I found myself back into the cesspool. And loving it. There are still clunkers, movies that could have used a bit more love and decapitations but you get past that, knowing that there are still gems out there.

Don't go in the woods just might have killed this for me, giving me a hard fist straight in my gut sending me spinning back into my old hatred. I don't know for sure yet, I need to think. To ponder. Is it worth it.

This is by far the worst slasher I have ever seen and it really shouldn't be. It has a perfect location in the lovely forests of Utah, a mysterious mountain man on a killing spree and one of the highest body counts I have ever seen in a slasher. But we also get some of the worst acting on camera ever. There is not a single person in this movie that can act. Not one. The cinematography is actually fairly good for such a low budget movie but that does not help one bit when the script is as bad as this and so poorly acted, making every minute seem like five. Sure, there is a lot of violence and some of it is fun in a cheap way but it is just thrown into the movie in random sequences and gets boring pretty fast. Violence being boring? What the hell is this?

This is truly boring beyond belief and should not be watched by anyone. Period. Damn you Don't go in the woods, damn you to hell.

It's at least better than Christopher Rays Shark week. I'll give it that.